Monday, November 29, 2010

He Gives me so much more than I need

I Saw
Public urination in the bushes at the street corner
The agony of a departure impeded by invisible tormentors
The stunning beauty of wedding extravagance masking hollow depths
A suicide deterrent an accepted addition to the overpass view
Blocks of barracks void of life though considered home by many
An incomplete, inadequate memory of the forgotten
Food few can afford
A mattress discarded onto the sidewalk bed frame of the North American urban lowest cast
Cries for worth trapped in walking wordless offers for pleasure 
Comfort and status acknowledged in the society of dog ownership
Endless motion – even the lights don’t stand still
The splendor of a man made horizon
The frailty of man made subsistence
Glamour and grime so close yet so isolated from each other
Love in the flair with which food was served 
Elaborate architecture worshiping while few gather to join
Well intentioned but misunderstanding riding the beat on a bike
New life overpowering depravity
Hope in the determined efforts of survival
Suspicion’s reign in the gazes at nightfall
Humility in the desperate requests for assistance
Grief and fear tormenting when loss rips through life
Deception in the beacon of comfort, prestige, thrill, and opportunity
The universal need for redemption in new life
My illusions crumbling
Despair threatening
Jesus’ undiscriminating love
Longing for greater effectiveness
Conviction for my pride, condemnation, indifference, and despise
Refreshing hope in praise, prayer, and preaching
Thankful and undeserving
Frustration over ignorant sterile solutions
My insufficiency
Growing respect for the many huddled in sleeping bags in the bedroom of the streets
Mockery in the urban life from the view of poverty’s prison
The most funded efforts are usually the least accessed
It is important to be real, honest, and open
How difficult choices of faith would be for so many
My rationale and resourcefulness are incomprehensible
Urban dwelling could be dangerous for me
How much some must sacrifice simply to survive

This list is the product of a reflective exercise during a recent experience with CSM

When so many have nothing He gives me:
Blessings I so easily despise
Laundry piles of clothes more numerous than my need
A house that collects the dirt of my dwelling
Hips that store the plenty I consume
Invigoration from walking
Motivation with the first snowfall
Sales at the grocery store
A community of faith to give and receive among
A long drive providing time to connect with a sister in law
A friend from my former life transplanted into this new life
The opportunity to repent
A faith community that serves each other
Winter tires for snowy roads
Organized files
Tidy cupboards
The new snow blower
The reminder of how useful that currently crippled car is
Massages by firelight and candlelight
My love’s rescue of me from a laundry flood
Choosing the perfect recipes for a new bride 


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